NOTES: A short one this month, based on a movie. Kenji can't guess because he gave me the idea.

---------

When did it all change? When did it go from being all about her to being all about him? It wasn't until after I'd changed, that's for sure.

Was it when he said that I was all he had left? Or was it when she told me she was in love with me and I realized that I just couldn't return it. That's when I noticed what had happened, but how long had it been going on?

One shouldn't be able to feel something without knowing about it. It just doesn't seem right. Not that there's much I can do to fix it. Why is it that the most important things are the ones that I can't affect. I can do so much else, but I don't really matter when it's an issue of love? Some cosmic jest that is.

I almost wish that I weren't so different. That I didn't have to deal with this mess on top of being a freak. That might help. Or maybe if it weren't for being a freak, the love would have gone unnoticed.

But he hates me. Oh sure, he doesn't really know that it's me he hates, but that doesn't make it any better or easier. If anything it makes it worse. How can I cope with being the one person he trusts most and the one person he hates most at the same time? It's impossible.

I can't help but wonder how long this will last. How long until he finds out? How long until he no longer trusts me but simply hates me? How long until my life once again comes crashing down about my ears?