NOTES: Takes place before the last book in a series of novels. This has plenty of clues despite its shortness, so it shouldn't be that hard. ...And reading it, I just realized how similar it is to DNAngel. o_O Huh. Well, that's not it, I'll tell you right now.

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I love her so much, but I'm afraid.

I'm afraid to tell her about this monster inside me, the one that keeps everything I know and love safe. I'm afraid to tell her that sometimes I worry that this strange being is too much of myself, and that its battle-lust will become my own, and I won't be able to help myself.

I'm afraid that when she discovers the truth, she will be horrified. I know that's silly; she and I were destined for each other, she would not leave me lightly. And yet I wonder if the violence of this being is not too much against her nature, if it would not be the one thing to push her away.

And of course, there is the child. My beautiful, beautiful, newborn daughter. If my love left me, I know she would take the child with her. And I couldn't stand that. Not when I finally have the daughter I always wanted, one to replace the child that never was.

I don't know why I haven't told the others. I suppose I fear rejection. Although that's silly. I have every confidence in myself and in them; I know that they are loyal to me, and perhaps telling them would only make them more so. I'm sure at least one if not both of them would be completely fascinated by the knowledge. And yet, I cannot bring myself to tell them.

It makes me wonder why none of the others in the past ever told them. Obviously, I am not the first be the guardian of this being. Or rather, I am not the first that he protects. And yet none of the others divulged this secret. Odd. Perhaps the burden was too much for them, as well. Perhaps some knew, but no one ever told my current friends. I wonder if any of the older keepers were brave enough to share the secret.

Nevertheless, I know I will have to tell them all some day. If I don't, I risk them finding out on their own and thinking that I have betrayed them by not saying anything. And they should know. They need to know, in case I ever fall so deeply into this being's madness that I cannot bring myself to come out of it. In case I lose myself in the battles that are yet to come.